SANTA BANTA JOKES

Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says 'please recharge your card'

Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua.
Wo udas ho gaya.
Banta : Yaar udas kion ho?
Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa.

Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing,
one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Sardar ji: Yes it’s really strange.
I’ve got another pair of the same at home.

Sardar: bhagwan mujhey
dard day dukh day
tension day mujhey barbaad ker day,
meray peechay bhoot laga day.
Bhagwan: abay salay
aik line main bool biwi chahiye

Shayari by Sardar ji:
Khidiki se dekha to rasta per koi nahi tha.Wah wah!
Khidiki se dekha to rasta per koi nahi tha.
Raste pe jaa kar dekha to khidiki pe koi nahi tha.

Do U know why a sardar ji kept
the door open while taking a bath?
Because he was scared that someone
might see through the “KEY HOLE”.

Sardar : O banno car ki speed itni kyon badha di?
Banno : Oji car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehle ghar pahunch jaate hain….!

SARDAR TELLS A GIRL 'COME TO MY HOUSE AT NIGHT, NOBODY WILL BE THERE'.
GIRL GOES AT NIGHT AND REALLY NOBODY WAS THERE

SARDAR : I HAV'NT SLEPT ALL NITE IN THE TRAIN.
FRIEND : WHY
SARDAR : GOT UPPER BERTH
FRIEND : WHY DIDN'T YOU EXCHANGED
SARDAR : OYE, THERE WAS NOBODY TO EXCHANGE IN THE LOWER BERTH.

As Santasing was in hurry, by mistake he entered in a ladies toilet.. .. All ladies stads up......
Santa told them "Izzat dil me honi chhahiye.. Aap baithe rahe".....

SARDARJI CALLS AIR INDIA, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO FLY TO AMRITSAR ?
JUST A SEC. SAYS THE REP.
THANK YOU. SAYS THE SARDARJI AND HANGS UP. (HE THOUGHT THAT IT TAKES ONLY ONE SEC TO FLY TO AMRITSAR.)

SARDARJI IS BUYING A TV. "DO YOU HAVE COLOR TVS ?"
SURE.
GIVE ME A GREEN ONE, PLEASE.

A Sardar sees a beautiful girl . He goes and kises her . The girl shouts
and says what r u doing.
Sardar says B COM from KHALSA college.

Santa eats 8 Butter Naan at a party and is suffering from Constipation.
Praying & crying in Toilet: Hey Wahe Guru...Ya toh JAAN nikal de, ya NAAN nikal de!

Sardar ka beta: papa aapki shadi ho gayi?
papa: haan.! bevkuf teri mummy se.

Beta: wah papa ghar me hi setting kar lee!

Santa : I am a Proud Man, My son is in Medical College.
Banta : Really, what is he studying, Santa : No he is not studying,
they are Studying him.

Sardar at the Garage,
Sardaji: areyoji, gaadi bandh ho jati hein, battery change karvani haein
Mechanic: Battery charge karvane se faidha nahi, ye garab ho ga ya hein, naya lagana padtha hein
Sardarji: tho lagaa do
Mechanic : EXIDE lagaa du?
Sardaji: Kyon, doosraa side tera baap lagaayegaa?

Sardar ka beta: papa aapki shadi ho gayi?
papa: haan.! bevkuf teri mummy se.

Beta: wah papa ghar me hi setting kar lee!

Customer: Oyye sardar teri lassi me makhi hai...!!
Sardar: Oye chup bae...!!
Dil badda rakh, ye nanhi si jaan teri kitni lassi piyegi...!!

SARDAR : Saala, Kal raat English picture ki CD dekhi, usme Na kuch dikha na koi awaz suni,
FRIEND : Movie ka naam kya tha.?
SARDAR:
"DISC EMPTY"

TCHR- Ande me se Murgi ka Bacha kaise nikla? SANTA-Madam, Ye koi badi bat nhi he. Zyada Interesting Ye he ki wo Usme Ghusa kaise?

Banta: Mai Samne Wali Building pr bina Hafe Chad skta hu

SANTA: Nhi Chad skte!

BANTA: Agar chad jau toh kya doge?

SANTA: dhakka.!

TEACHER: Jab Bijli Chamakti hai to Roshni Pehle Aur Awaaz baad me Kyu aati hai?

SANTA: Kyuki Hamari Aankh Aagey Aur Kaan Piche hai..